So here I am about a week from leaving the country for a year and how am I doing... well it will be a small miracle if I don't have a nervous breakdown between now and then.
Ok ok, I exaggerate. I'm not much of a worrier,and I know it will all work out, but right now I am getting very caught up in the minutia of what has to be done to get ready and its a bit overwhelming. I'm getting butterflies in my stomach about 6 - 10 times a day (basically whenever I think about leaving). It's not that I'm particularly nervous about doing it, but I just have a lot more to deal with now than I have when taking trips in the past.
The last two times I've left for long period of times to go abroad, I was in college and had almost no affairs that had to be dealt with. Now, I'm not just leaving for 3 months or 6 months, I'm leaving for at least a year... I'm literally MOVING. I'm not taking a trip, I'm moving to another country! And I have loans, and a storage unit, and a car payment, and three bank accounts, and a 401K that needs rolled over somewhere, bank transfers that need to be made and automatic debits that need to be cancelled and transferred to new accounts... and it goes on and on and on...
On top of the financials that have to be taken care of, I have a car that I'm trying to sell (anyone interested in a 2006 Nissan Sentra for $10k?) which needs to be completely cleaned out. I have to pack, I have to get travelers checks, and medicine, and toiletries, and moisture wicking underwear, and shoes! Yes I have no shoes!! (and I can't figure out what the hell kind of shoes I will want to wear there... Its rainy there... do I need rain boots? should I get some type of trail shoe, or gortex??? Holy crap, I DON'T KNOW! can I wear clogs in a tropical country during the winter?? should I even be wearing clogs anymore as a general principal... probably not!
And I've realized over the last two weeks that I have no clothes and I HATE my wardrobe. (This is a quarterly revelation for me). So now, do I buy clothes, only to shove them in a backpack and most likely wear the same clothes everyday for the first month? That sounds pretty stupid... Do I need a jacket? It is winter there, but it's a sub-tropical climate... will a fleece be enough? (and I don't even like fleece... it makes me sweat!)
I've traveled before and I've certainly learned that if I don't wear it at home, I'm not going to wear it abroad... but that still isn't helping me here. I've never lived out of a backpack... o dear Lord! I really like hooded sweatshirts, but is it too bulky for my backpack? I think not, right?
Thinking about packing gets me a little flushed and my heart starts beating a little bit faster. Yesterday I talked to Nick about it "I'm freaking out, I don't know what to pack!?" I said, and he says "two T-shirts, a pair of pants, a jacket, a sweatshirt, and some underwear... whats the problem!?" yeah... that doesn't quite do it for me. I know that when backpacking, less is MORE. But if I'm packing less that means I have to think more about what exactly I need and what I don't need... ooo packing is the bane of my existence.
So, enough about packing lets move on to more that is freaking me out. There are the endless family members and friends to see. One day at each grandparent's house, my Aunt wants to hang out on Monday, my dad has a gig on Tuesday, I have to hang out w/ my cousin on Saturday, Brie's last day in town is tomorrow... AHHHH.
And on top of all of that... Work is VERY busy this week. oooooo boy is it busy. So that's not helping at all. I haven't had much time to myself these last couple of days.
But I need to just take a deep breath and realize that it will all work out, just like everything always does. What needs to get done will get done and the rest... well is just not that important. I will have Internet, I'm not going to a third world country, I'm sure I can buy almost anything I would need once I'm there.... I just need to chill out and remain calm. Inhale... Exhale....
Ok, well there's a little snap shot into my life right now. My brain is going about 10,000 miles a minute and its all I can do to slow it down at night and fall asleep. I am sure that my life will be much less hectic once I'm in Taiwan. All I'll have to do is focus on myself and taking it all in, and finding a job and a place to live and learning Chinese. Now that may sound stressful to you, but right now it sounds a lot less stressful that the preparation that I'm doing to make it all possible.
But, C'est la vie!